Dinner for One

so what do i eat when the ole fiance is away? your looking at it. hmm what it is? yeah good question. basically its the "what do i have in the frig and what can be made in about 20 minutes before i just eat cookies and cereal for dinner" recipe. i escape from work, head to the gym for a bit then come home starving and not interested in baking, broiling, simmering, whisking or anything extra curricular in nature. but what i can tolerate at moments like this is steaming and a quick saute. so here we are, 20 minutes later noshing down on a one bowl meal of cracked wheat, sautéed tofu, zucchini, carrots (fresh from my parent's organic louisiana back yard - yeah be jealous, you should be) and a handful of parsley - stems and all (i can't be bothered to cut off just the leaves, please). oh and a few sprinkles of homemade res el hanout and some sea salt.

ras el hanout is a mediterranean spice blend with such delicious things like ginger, cumin, clove, allspice and cinnamon. i use it on almost anything really, especially baked veggies. but really it works well with tofu. all i do is heat some oil in a pan, add some chopped tofu, sprinkle the ras el hanout and the rest is magic! and i think i am finally taking a break from my whole wheat couscous affair and moving on to a new obsession with cracked wheat.

Chocolate Eclair Cupcakes

you are about to get schooled on chocolate eclairs.

this delicious pastry as you probably already suspected is believed to have its roots in 19th century france. traditionally it consists of a crisp hollow shell made with your typical choux dough (my favorite pastry element ever), topped with

a chocolate glaze and piped full of coffee or chocolate pastry cream. i can hear you mumbling inside your head: "i thought it was traditionally filly with vanilla cream". yes, one would think such a thing; if they were american. i am american and that it what i thought, i will explain why.

here in fabulous america we make something called a "long john" which -like yams and sweet potatoes- we have decided are the same as eclairs. while interesting in name and definitely americanized; a long john is not the same as an eclair. they may look similar to someone who doesn't have their glasses but they are made out of very different things. long johns are really just long hotdog shaped doughnuts filled with vanilla pudding and topped with chocolate.

we do like to soak our food in molten lard. so in other words the next time you are in dunkin donuts and you see those long chocolate covered doughnut things in the corner - do not call them eclairs. speaking of dunking donuts; were you aware they have an item called "cake stick" also something called "jelly stick"? what tha? seriously!? i don't know how you feel about this, but i don't want to eat anything that has taken the stick form of itself.

anyways back to the story. so you can see how we have come to mix these two items up with each other. we like our sweets to be cakey - none of that wussy light as air baked pastry "shell" business. which brings me to boston creme pie. ah yes, if you think about it: vanilla pastry creme, chocolate glaze and some other sweet cushiony element in-between. very similar, just switch out the choux shell for a sponge cake and viola! you've just invented boston creme pie.

hopefully you find this as interesting as me: the 1st known english language recipe for eclairs was in late 19th century Boston Cooking School Cook Book. that is correct the first known english recipe was in boston! ha, very clever. and the chef at the parker house hotel (where boston creme pie came from) was of-course french. bit of a loop, eh?

all that said, i am thoroughly against bastardizing a culinary item. but i do have to agree with the rest of america and say that the vanilla filling is by far superior. so the vanilla filling stays - the rest is old school eclair baby.

so this brings me to this cupcake. i had started out thinking that i wanted to make mini boston creme pies, but then realized that the best vanilla pastry creme recipe i have ever tried is my own (yes i am bragging) and that is for my eclairs. ok, so i fill a cupcake with eclair creme, slather on the chocolate glaze and what do we have? i don't know a chocolate eclair cupcake? yep, full blooded american.

CHOCOLATE ECLAIR CUPCAKES

CUPCAKES:

1c flour

1 tbs cornstarch

1 tsp baking powder

1/4 tsp salt

1/2c milk

1/2 tsp vanilla

1/4 tsp almond extract

4 oz butter

3/4c sugar

2 eggs, separated

pinch of cream of tartar

2 tbs sugar

*preheat oven to 350F, line your pan

*sift together flour, cornstarch, baking powder & salt

*in separate bowl combine the milk, vanilla and almond

*in a separate bowl, beat the egg whites and cream of tartar until soft peaks form. add the 2tbs sugar and beat until

shiny and stiff peaks form.

*in separate bowl cream the butter and sugar together until light and fluffy

*add the egg yolks only, one at a time

*add 1/3 of the flour mixture, beat to combine.

*add 1/2 of the milk mixture, beat to combine

*repeat until all of the milk and flour are added, ending on the flour

*gently fold in the whipped egg whites.

*spoon into prepared pan, cook for 20 minutes until toothpick is clean

*once cooled cut out a small area from the top of the cupcake and fill with the pastry cream. cut off the access of cake

from the served piece and place back on the top of the cupcake.

*top with the chocolate glaze

VANILLA PASTRY CREAM:

1c whole milk

1/2 vanilla bean, split and seeded

3 egg yolks

2 tbs cornstarch

1/3c sugar

1 1/2 tsp cold butter

*heat milk and vanilla bean to boil, turn off heat and infuse for 15 minutes

* in a separate bowl whisk yolks and sugar to light and fluffy

*add cornstarch to yolks and whisk until no lumps

*whisk in 1tbs of the hot milk

*whisk in remaining milk

*strain egg mix into saucepan, cook over medium heat whisking constantly until thick and slowly boiling

*remove from heat and add butter

*put plastic wrap directly on top and chill for 2 hours

CHOCOLATE GLAZE:

1/2c heavy cream

4 oz semisweet chocolate, chopped

*heat cream until you can see bubbles forming at the edge

*take off heat and add the chocolate, let sit for a minute then stir to smooth

Orange Curd French Macarons

its finally warming up in frigid nyc. ahhhhh it was so nice today! so nice. i can finally release my shoulders from the confines of those darned out of fashion sweaters and jackets i sport all winter and get back into my native tank-top, flip-flops and cute dress. my neck will see sunlight again. my toes with get some fresh air and wiggle when they want to. i can grad object with my hands, not scratchy wool gloves. yes i love the heat - bring on the heat!

this little heat wave we are having makes people crazy with activity and drives that unyielding urge to show skin (see picture below). in lieu of all of this i am going fruity with my macarons. dark chocolate is just a wee heavy for 86 degree weather, no?. but so is red wine and believe me i don't let the heat stop me from polishing off a bottle with dinner. who me? well, to be completely truthful there is also the fact that there were two oranges sitting in my frig waiting to be put out of their misery. i recently discovered that my daily orange indulgence is beginning to reek havoc on my sensitive

mouth. so no more afternoon orange at my desk for this working gal. they will have to be put to use as delicious pastry items. and so these treats were born. fear not; i also made the old stand-by chocolate on chocolate macarons that have been tested and proven a high success.

its just that they are old news to me so i'm opting to write about the much more interesting orange concoction. right.

so we'll see how these fair tomorrow night when josh the great taste tester makes his trek back home for a quick

two day stay. i think they rock, but i also think cold seaweed salads rock.

**warning: if it is humid outside - do not try to do this - you will not be successful. its just a meringue thing, trust me **

FRENCH MACARON

1c powdered sugar

1/2c almond powder / meal

2 large egg whites (aged at room temp for as long as you can, up to 24hr)

5 tbs sugar

*preheat oven to 375F, line pan with parchment

*combine the powdered sugar and almond powder in a food processor. pulsing get get a consistent texture throughout

*in a separate bowl beat the whites until they begin to hold soft peaks.

*add in the 5tbs of sugar and continue to beat until you have stiff, shiny peaks

*fold in the powdered sugar and almonds

*pipe out into 1 1/2" rounds onto prepared pan, let the batter sit for 15 minutes the put in oven and cook for 15-18 minutes.

ORANGE "CURD" FILLING

juice of 1 1/2 navel oranges

zest of 1/2 of one orange

1 egg

1 egg yolk

1.5 oz butter

1 1/8oz sugar

1/4 oz cornstarch

*in a saucepan combine the juice, zest, butter & half of the sugar. bring to a boil

* whisk together the egg, yolk, remaining sugar and cornstarch

*continue to whisk and slowly pour in the boiling juice (you are tempering the eggs so be careful)

*pour the entire mixture back into the pan and bring to a simmer for a few minutes whisking continuously to thick and smooth.

*cover and chill for a few hours

Real Raw Chocolate Pudding

as if louisiana isn't faux tropical enough in my mind pile on top memories of the infamous coconut. i can't remember how old i was, but every once in a blue moon my father would buy a coconut. hm. interesting now that i think about it. interesting because i have no idea what the intention was there. my mom loathes coconut, she claims it expands in her mouth (?). just the hearing the word and she makes a face. that and rootbeer - i don't know, but i have to agree: rootbeer is crazy stuff.

anyways back to my father and coconuts. i have a distinct memory lodged in my mind of one night that my brother and i stood around my dad as he literally hacked away at a coconut. it was disastrous. i think there was a hammer and a drill involved, i think. i just remembering that it went on for a while. we stood there watching my dad in his standard v-neck white undershirt reassuring us every now and again that it is "always a bit tricky" to open up one of these little guys. i felt like we were doing something really exotic. you know because it was a coconut and they are only found on islands.right. and they always fall on people's heads.

so in memory of my father's adventures with coconuts and my on going attempt to get healthier deserts while flying solo i have finally (!) made the chocolate pudding recipe from pure food and wine (a raw living foods restaurant here in NYC & my hands down favorite place to eat at). and i have to admit as i stood there in my robe sawing away at my young coconut with my completely inappropriate knife, i totally felt like my father.

oh and by the way: this pudding is delicious! i would take it over regular any day.

REAL RAW CHOCOLATE PUDDING

1c coconut meat

1/4c + 2 tbs coconut water

1/4c maple syrup

2 tbs agave nectar (can add another tbs if desired)

1/4c dutch processed cocoa powder

1 tbs vanilla

*drop all of the ingredients in a strong blender and "liquify" until smooth and creamy - add more coconut water if you feel it is too thin.

* chill to firm up a bit, otherwise you can chow down immediately

Juiced Up Carrot Cake

so josh is gone. he left monday night and won't be back to corrupt my strictly healthy dietary requirements with his seemingly unquenchable - yet starting to gradually wane - need for delicious sugary treats. i admit it: sugar and butter are delish. but sooner or later i have to get back on track, not just for me but for my poor salivating father who has to sit through these posts, week after week. sorry dad.

anyways so my plan while alone for the next 8 weeks (josh is back mondays and tuesday) is to gather a decent amount of reasonably healthy baked treats. that and kick the habit of eating cereal for dinner when alone (ugh how sad is that?). i can do it!

so here we go: healthy treat number uno. i packed away the week's supply of "daily bread" with josh and i wanted to make something i could convince myself was a healthy substitute to house my almond butter for lunch at the office. pack in the fruit, vegetables, nuts and whole wheat and viola! one day i may try to substitute the sugar with maple syrup or honey. one day.

JUICED UP CARROT CAKE

1/2c whole wheat flour

1/2c AP flour

1 tsp baking soda

2 tsp cinnamon

1/4 tsp salt

1/2c + 2tbs sugar

1/2c peeled and grated granny smith apple

1/2c peeled and grated carrot

1/2c grated zucchini

1/4c + chopped walnuts

1/4c buttermilk

2 eggs

1/4c canola oil

*preheat oven to 350 F, grease a loaf pan

*sift together the flours, sugar, soda, cinnamon & salt

*add the apple, carrots, zucchini & walnuts - stir to combine well

*in a separate bowl whisk together the eggs, oil and buttermilk

*add wet to dry and mix to just combine

*pour into prepared loaf pan and cook for 45-50 minutes until toothpick is clean

*let cool completely before slicing in.

Lemon Pie Cupcakes

i don't yet know how i feel about cream filled cupcakes. i mean call me plain but i've always felt like cake and clouds of icing piled on top in fun swirls was enough to keep my attention. but maybe filling is a good thing. were would eclairs be without their creamy vanilla filling? chocolate truffles? ding-dongs and pop-tarts?!

well ok so i'll give it a try. due to a miscalculation i had a about 1 1/2 cups of the lemon pie filling left over from my lemon meringue pies. being me means you refuse to through baked goods in the garbage. so what to do? fill some cupcakes with them delish leftovers. this weekend was a busy one. between seeing a friend's new baby and another's new condo there were a lot of cupcakes flying around the ole kitchen. and this was the perfect chance to use that filling. everyone seemed to enjoy - one comment: make sure to put sufficient amounts of the filling in each, or it will just taste like you are trying to sneak a flinstone's multi vitamin in on someone.

LEMON PIE CUPCAKES

1/2c + 2 tbs flour

1 1/2 tbs cornstarch

3/4 tsp baking powder

1/4 tsp baking soda

pinch salt

3 1/2 oz butter

1/2c + 2 tbs sugar

2 eggs

1/2 tsp vanilla

1/2c buttermilk

*preheat oven to 350F

* sift together all the dry ingredients

* in separate bowl cream the butter and sugar to fluffy and smooth

*add the eggs one at a time, add the vanilla

*add 1/3 of the flour mixture, then 1/2 of the buttermilk.

*continue this until all is incorporated, ending on the flour

*pour into prepared pan and cook for 20 mins

*once cooled, with a knife cut out a small round of the cupcake. hollow out with a spoon if needed. fill with lemon pie filling (from previous post).

*cut the excess cake from the small round you cut out so you are left with a flat disk. place that disk back over the top of the cupcake (icing will hide the seam).

FLUFFY WHITE ICING

2 egg whites

1/4 tsp cream of tartar

1/3c water

1c sugar

1 tsp vanilla

*beat the whites and the tartar until soft peaks form

*bring sugar and water to boil over medium heat.

*once the sugar reaches 240F take off heat

*with the mixers on slowly pour the boiling sugar into the egg whites

*continue to beat until stiff peaks form, about 6-8 minutes

Snickerdoodles

when i was about 10 years old i "invented" a cookie that had cinnamon and sugar sprinkled on top. they were my brother's favorite. but his preferred action to take when i was baking them was to hover around the kitchen when i was baking and right as i took a sheet of hot cookies out of the oven and placed them on the counter he would lean over - just as close as if he was going to inhale a nice big cloud of the delicious smell- and let out a supernatural, teenage male burp. he would burp all over my hot cookies. would you like to eat those cookies? yeah i'm still not sure where he came up with that little number, but it was executed in perfect elder brother style.

so anyways, he liked these cinnamon cookies i would make; and being a teenage boy he would eat somewhere around a dozen in one sitting (along with the infamous 32 oz "big gulp" of milk) while watching a new episode of the simpsons or beavis and butt-head. unfortunately a few years later i figured out that i was most definitely not the inventor of cookies with cinnamon and sugar. yes it is true- i did not invent snickerdoodles.

i am personally not a huge fan of these cookies, but i seem to be the only one. these are the first thing i ever baked for josh, and like my big bro he ate a ton of them. they are always welcome when i bring myself to make them. so here's to it!

SNICKERDOODLES

8oz butter

1 1/2c sugar

2 eggs

2 1/2 tsp baking powder

2 3/4c flour

1/4 tsp salt

3 tbs sugar

1 tbs cinnamon

*cream the butter and sugar together to smooth and fluffy

* add in egg one at a time beating well between each

* sift together the flour, baking powder and salt

* add to the flour mixture to the butter mixture, combine

* cover in plastic and chill for 2 hours

* preheat oven to 350F

*combine the cinnamon and sugar in a plate

* roll chilled dough into 1" balls and then roll in the cinnamon sugar mixture

* place on your prepared cookie sheet and cook for 10-13 minutes

Lemon Meringue Pie (on the mini)

as i am sure you have deciphered for yourself: i grew up in the deep deep (basically in the gulf of mexico) south. also lovingly called: the dirty south. so as you can image, i have eaten my fair share of meringue pies. and yet i still don't know how to spell the word correctly without spell check - thank god for spell check!

so as most all of my stories go, i have been trying to relive these wonderfully low country, but yet actually very fancy pies. everyone has their own story about who in their life makes the best meringue pies. josh's is his grandparents. my is mrs. smith. seriously that was her name.

my grandfather loved his pie (more that his electric lemon cake) and from the stories i've been told he would do anything to keep the pie maker in his life safe and near. he'd been known to drag his entire family of 5 kids and wife down to the city jail at 2 am to bail out his cook - who not only had a knack for drinking and violence but also happened to make amazing pies. what have you done in the name of pie?

longville, louisiana. that's where my father grew up, where my childhood weekends were spent and the town my grandfather grew to old age in. it is the epiphany of the small southern baptist town. mrs. smith was german baptist /mennonite who took to helping out my grandfather as he got older and my grandmother passed away. it was no coincidence that she could make a mean pie.

we brought her fruits from our garden, she delivered pies. two for us and one she kept for her family. every single week we had pie. and in the summer months when the lemon bush was in full swing we had a lot of lemon meringue pie.

about a year ago i tried to make a lemon meringue pie - a few time - and it was painfully tart. painful. so i think i have finally figured out the magic recipe to this pie - its gotten the josh "tasty" seal of approval. and since poker is coming up once again; these are made in little miniature versions of themselves (thanks to a cupcake pan) because i love miniature objects.

LEMON MERINGUE PIE

Crust:

1 1/2c flour

3/4 tsp salt

1 1/2 tsp sugar

3 oz butter, cold and cubed

2 oz shortening, cold and cubed

1/4c ice cold water (more if needed)

*sift together the flour, salt and sugar

*work in the butter and shortening with your fingers until the mixture resembles peas

*slowly pour in the water, mixing with a wooden spoon. add more water a tsp at a time if needed to pull the dough together.

*form the dough into a ball and chill for 30 minutes

*roll out and lay over your pie pan - put back in frig until ready to bake

*preheat oven to 425 F, line the uncooked crust with parchment and weigh down with dried beans

*cook for 12 minutes, lower heat to 350 F, remove the beans and parchment then continue to cook another 10-15

minutes.

*keep oven on 350 F, take the crust out and fill

Lemon Filling

1c sugar

1c milk

1c water

1/3c cornstarch

pinch salt

4 egg yolks

1 oz butter

2 tsp lemon zest

5-6 tbs lemon juice

*heat milk and water to boiling

*in a separate bowl whisk yolks to smooth and creamy

*in a separate pan whisk together the sugar, salt and cornstarch

*stir in the boiling water/milk

*cook over med-low until smooth and thick (5-10 minutes)

*turn heat off and add 1/2c of the hot mixture to the yolks stirring constantly

*immediately add the tempered yolks to the pan of hot milk mixture,

*turn heat back on to low, add the butter and cook 5 min to smooth and hot

*take off heat and stir in the lemon juice and zest

*pour into prepared pie shell, top with meringue...

Meringue

4 egg whites

1/4c + 1 tbs sugar

1/4 tsp cream of tartar

1 tsp vanilla

*add the tartar to the whites, beat on low until soft peaks begin to form

*slowly add in the sugar and beat until stiff and shiny peaks form

*add the vanilla and beat in to mix

*spread on top of the prepared, filled pie making sure that the meringue touches the crust

*cook at 350 F for 10-15 minutes until the peaks begin to brown

Chocolate Cupcakes w/ Whipped Chocolate Ganache

i woke up at 6:30 this morning, like my usual sunday morning. so i get up and promise myself that i will just eat breakfast start a loaf of bread and then lounge on the couch and read. that never ever happens. ever. what happens instead is that i convince myself there is some obscure reason i should bake some delicious treat. it was my birthday last weekend and i didn't have a chance to make something for myself, i have been craving chocolate cake and to top it all off i bought new piping tips friday afternoon in anticipation of making cupcakes for a friend's house warming party next weekend. like any child i just couldn't wait to play with my new toys. so add all those up and i just absolutely had to make cupcakes - i needed to.

these are delicious - this is my usual chocolate cake recipe i got from one of my ina garten books. i have been tweaking it over the past year or so and i think i have finally perfected it, you be the judge. chocolate ganache is equal to gold in this tiny apartment and what isn't better when its whipped? really everything is better with a little air mixed in; that's my theory. i can't explain to you how much i love this combo. its classic, simple, light yet decadent (i hate that phrase, but had to use it) and just enough to satisfy.

CHOCOLATE CUPCAKES

1c flour

1c sugar

1/4c + 2tbs good quality cocoa powder

1 tsp baking soda

1/2 tsp baking powder

1/2 tsp salt

1/2c buttermilk

1/4c vegetable oil

1 extra large egg

1/2 tsp vanilla

1/2c fresh brewed coffee

*preheat oven to 350 F and line a muffin pan

* sift together the flour, sugar, cocoa, soda, baking powder and salt. mix to combine

* in a separate bowl beat the buttermilk, oil, egg and vanilla with an electric mixer to combine

* with the mixer on slowly add in the flour mixture

* once all of the flour is incorporated add in your coffee. stir to combine

* spoon into your lined muffin tins

* bake for 20 minutes until toothpick comes out clean

WHIPPED CHOCOLATE GANACHE

5 oz bittersweet chocolate, finely chopped

2 oz unsweetened chocolate, finely chopped

1/2c + 2tbs whipping cream

1 oz butter, softened

1c powdered sugar

1/4 tsp salt

1/4c milk

1/2 tsp vanilla

*put chocolate in a large mixing bowl

*heat cream over medium heat until you see bubbles form around the edges

*pour hot cream over the chocolate,let sit untouched for 1 minute

*stir the chocolate and cream mixture until it is smooth

*add in the butter in cubes, stir until the mixture is smooth

*in a separate bowl combine the sugar, milk, salt & vanilla. mix to smooth

*add the milk mixture to the chocolate. stir to combine.

*let the mixture cool to room temp and thicken

* beat the ganache to desired constancy w/ electric mixer

Fresh Strawberry Cupcakes

growing up i would bake a lot, mostly fudge and cookies. but when it came to cakes i always opted for the box mix and the icing in a plastic tub. a. plastic. tub. granted i was about 8 years old so you can't blame me really. there was one in particular that really grosses me out now that i am older. that would be the neon yellow lemon cake with neon greenish lemon icing i would deliver to my grandfather's house every sunday afternoon (after his pancake breakfast - yes i am a pancake queen). ick. i can smell the fake sour lemon chemicals now. but he loved it so i kept dishing it out. oh the shame.

so when i first met josh i tried to tame down my crazy food fanatics in a feeble attempt to appear normal. somehow we got on the subject of cake and i think i blurted out something about loving strawberry cake - which i do. what woman doesn't remember screaming for "pink" cake for their birthday? it could have been any flavor as long as it was pink and frilly. like my grandfather and his electric lemon cake; i would gobble down my hot pink box mix strawberry cake and plastic tub icing every time. so like a the good mother she is, my mom would always provide.

back to josh. in an effort to make it appear as if he did a bit of baking himself josh took my fly-by nostalgic love for strawberry cake to heart and got down to the corner bodega to get a box of duncan hines strawberry cake and that adoring tub of greasy icing. very cute, i admit. but um, gross. i was excited just to relive all those southern spring birthdays and unfortunately, i have to admit i ate more that one piece.

that was the absolute only thing josh has ever baked for me - or possibly ever baked. remarkably i think about that little event more often than any normal person would. and i finally dawned on me the other day that i absolutely had to make a real homemade strawberry cake and real american buttercream icing. so i searched and searched and evidently this is a bit of a southern treat and like most southern treats it cleverly utilizes some kind of prepackaged mix. i fought it for a while then decided that i would have to make a small nod to my southern roots and allow a half pack of jello. the rest is all fresh baby! and really these are perfect. we were both really excited when these came out of the oven, you just can't help but smile when you take a bite.

STRAWBERRY CUPCAKES

1c sugar

1.5 oz strawberry jello mix

4oz butter

2 eggs

1 1/4c flour

3 tbs cornstarch

1 1/4 tsp baking powder

1/4 tsp baking soda

1/2c milk, room temp

1 1/2 tsp vanilla

1/4c fresh strawberry puree

*preheat oven to 350 F, line your cupcake pan

* sift together the flour, cornstarch, baking powder and baking soda

* cream the butter, add the sugar and jello mix. cream to light and fluffy

* beat in eggs one at a time

* add in 1/3 of the flour mix, beat to combine

* add in 1/2 of the milk, beat to combine - repeat until all the flour and milk is gone ending on the flour

* stir in the strawberry puree and vanilla

* spoon into your pan, cook 20 minutes

Classic American Vanilla Buttercream Frosting

4oz butter

3 1/2 - 4c powdered sugar

1/4c milk

1 tsp vanilla

* cream the butter to light and fluffy

* sift in half of the powdered sugar. add in milk as needed to allow mixture to come together

* continue adding sugar and milk until desired consistence

* beat in the vanilla